IcEMaN's Frozen Life.

Among the pairs.. Stands the loner.

2011-11-08T21:08:00.003+08:00

It seems really sad that people around me are getting together and I'm still the odd one out. All the time, I don't mind being alone and all but it's just that I can't stand being lonely...

Seeing things happening around me, the words that I always say seem to come true. "Bad things happen when you don't follow your heart". Although it's a gut feeling kind of thing, but I've seen more cases of people not doing so and end up suffering in the end. But judging from them, they'll be together eventually.

As for me, I say I made really good progress. Every time when I see her, I don't feel much anymore. Guess I really put her behind somehow. It's really pathetic thinking back that I liked someone who didn't even know I exist. Guess it's just a bad habit that's hard to kick.

Now, I'll just walk alone for the moment. A bit of the usuals but hopefully, something will turn for the better.

Forgot to remember... Remembering to forget.

2011-10-10T23:38:00.004+08:00

On my way to school today, I saw her taking the same train as I did.

I didn't approach her and say 'Hi' because deep down I know it that it'll kill me... Instead, I chose to stand there like a fool looking away, listening to my Loser's playlist.

That scene will stick with me for a very long time. From how I see it, it could be potentially be a fantastic scene for a movie or MV. It's almost as if it's two people in two worlds at the same place.

I'll never know if you actually did saw me or notice me. I'll never know if you actually wonder if I saw you. Most ironically, I'll never know if you actually knew I saw you and you actually waited for me to say 'Hi' to you.

Really?? Is it just me or am I really that bad...

2011-10-03T01:48:00.005+08:00

Everything's gone downhill since last time. It's been so long since the last post but I really didn't have enough energy to even bother writing stuff here.

Been trying to do lots of stuff to get my mind off things. Just recently, I did shots while deleting the tons of SMSes sent between me and some people I used to have feelings for. It felt a whole lot better and I thought I was gonna move on. But as it turned out, it's not as simple as I thought. Turns out that, second chances are non-existent. Seems like people won't give you a second look or even give a second thought.

But I guessed as much, who would even bother interacting with a monster like me... All along, girls would never put me in their 'Good' ladders and always treat me like a so called "brother". This fucking irony just never goes away...

With the new semester coming, I have no idea how I will pull through this time. It's such a big test for me with 'Her' in my class for 15 weeks yet again... If this is the dude upstairs' definition of 'Second Chance', all I would say that it's just some fucking sick joke played on me....

Ethan is non existent

2011-06-27T21:06:00.004+08:00

Sometimes, it's just probably that I'm weak

Sometimes, it's just probably that I'm a fool

Sometimes, it's just probably that I'm ignorant

But all the time, I just couldn't let you go...

It kills me to sit right down here and find words to describe how I feel. Seeing people around me who are living the fairy tale and making up the beautiful lies in their lives.. Although pitiful, but it keeps them living and happy nevertheless... It is something too that I need, although all being an illusion but at least... they have someone that keeps their heart beating...

This feeling keeps coming back to me... That lost feeling that is ever so familiar when I think of you... It just never fails to crack me and bring me down. I feel so damn ironic now.. For this is the pain that is killing me yet it keeps me holding on.

Right now... I'm just so bloody damn afraid of myself....

2011-06-13T21:48:00.001+08:00

Saw this on YouTube and someone wrote a poem based on Maroon 5 songs. Quite intriguing and inspiring indeed...

NOTHING LASTS FOREVER, so I guess it's BETTER THAT WE BREAK. Sometimes, it MAKES ME WONDER if you still love me. Everytime I ask you for a LITTLE OF YOUR TIME, you just tell me to get out. I tried to come BACK TO YOUR DOOR, but you said "IF I NEVER SEE YOUR FACE AGAIN, I'll be happy!" That was my WAKE UP CALL, but I tried not to be sad. I'm strong and I'm NOT FALLING APART.

Fallen...Broken...Beaten.

2011-06-09T00:54:00.002+08:00

For some reason... It's hard to get back up this time. So often she drops me and lets me go... Somehow, this is the last time that she'll ever let me go but this time is the time that it hurts the most...

People say that once you fall, you can't go any lower and the only way is up. Somehow, I fell and couldn't get up. Not that I don't want to get up... But I just can't. I guess it's just so damn difficult when you've lost that pillar of strength and when it crumbles, I just crumbled along with it...

Went out with my good friends these couple of days, although I had my usual favorite food routine and had really good laughs with them, I just can't put you in the past...

Maybe after all, I'm not that strong as I thought... I'm just a weak pathetic fool who's clinging on to you and knowing that you'll always find ways to let me down and let me go...

I'm not the one..

2011-05-30T23:09:00.007+08:00

I'm sorry that I ran back to you.

I'm sorry that I scared you.

I'm sorry that I that I depended on you.

I'm sorry that I gave you too much to handle.

I'm sorry that I expected too much from you.

I'm sorry that I'm not how you wanted me to be.

I'm sorry that I disrupted your life.

I'm sorry that I held too tight.

I'm sorry if I ever made you cry.

I'm sorry if I hurt you.

I'm sorry for trying to make you mine.

I'm sorry that I fell in love with you.

I'm sorry that I'm not The One for you.

This is it.. for us

2011-05-25T22:52:00.008+08:00

I guess this is it for us.. You've decided to let me go. For that, I thank you because one way or another, I can move on to a life without you. And to end all this, I can only say that I'll never let you break my heart ever again.

All I'm left with, are the beautiful memories I shared with you back then. I know I can never replicate them or make more of them with you in the future. That being said.. I can only say I don't need them as they are of no use to me anymore.. All I will say is that I will leave them behind where they are and I will never even try to search them out ever again even if I walk past the places that I've been to with you by my side.

All along I thought you may really be 'The One'.. Even after what you said to me years ago, I still somehow run back to you. After picking up all my courage and told you how I felt, I probably still am a option to you rather than a priority. I drank 5 shots and went drunk, called and SMSed my friends, making a fool out of myself for someone who doesn't love me as much as I loved you. Although my friend's concerns are something I need, but all I wished for is a bit of your attention and time.. But since we got here, I can only see you turn you back on me while you chase your dreams...

I have nothing left to say but... Thank You from the bottom of my heart. This is the only song I have left to describe how I feel about you now...

What about the plans that you left behind
The little white house by the railway line
The one we picked out
We even put the payment down
What about the promise that you made
To stay with me till your dying day
Said you’d never go away
Are they just things that people say
Are they just things baby

Week 2...

2011-05-16T00:18:00.005+08:00

It's been 2 weeks since I heard from her...

I sent SMSes.. but no reply. Wanted to call her.. but didn't have the courage. It's been so bad that I have absolutely no idea how she's doing... Saw from her twitter that she fell ill and I was so worried...

All the time I miss her so much.. I think of her all the time and whenever I do, I cannot concentrate. But even though I think of her so much, it always makes me wonder that if I ever cross her mind. Although for me it's all the time that she does, it feels almost so unfair that she might actually not be even thinking about me..

People tell me that I should really wait.. Rachel tells me that usually girls think for a month... When I heard that.. I was like.. speechless. For now, I think I'm really running on fumes here... Days felt like weeks for me and it's really so hard to even live my life now... And here I am now, wondering what the hell am I going to do if she says 'No'... Although it may be a fact that I can finally truly move on without regrets but still, it still keeps me wondering what will happen to us if we're not together. Would our relationship be affected? Would it be awkward if we meet each other in the future?

My worries may soon enough overwhelm me... But from the heart, I can only say that she's the only and biggest worry that I have now. But all I can do right now.. it's just simply wait it out for her answer.

Ethan Is Reborn!!!

2011-05-02T00:58:00.005+08:00

Much have happened... I've realized the fact that I've stopped at a spot for too damn long.. With all the sadness and heartbreaks that I got through, I realized that I may be fine but I never moved on.

With that, I came up with a recovery plan for myself. A one week ordeal that would make me stand up and change myself again. It wasn't pretty... It wasn't glamorous but I feel like as if I'm reborn.

The Checklist:

1)Attend the Maroon 5 concert. CHECKED

2)Do something that it's completely new to me (Draw birthday cards/celebrate birthdays) CHECKED

3)Make new friends at worst possible times. CHECKED

4)Watch a movie with my Bros. CHECKED

5)Experience Heaven to Hell transition. CHECKED

6)Celebrate a dearest person's birthday. CHECKED

7)Confess to her. CHECKED

8)Experience true loneliness for the last time. CHECKED

And there was it, the self recovery checklist all done and completed. Since now the clock strikes 12, I am now reborn. Hopefully to someone better and never dwell on the past.

Emo Me...

2010-11-21T23:04:00.006+08:00

Well, apparently I've been really busy lately. Had to go to Orchard Cineleisure yesterday for my UT2 assignment. Took me the whole damn day and it was so tiring... But had a decent porridge buffet with Crono Sensei and others.

And as usual, certain someone never fails to piss me off. Good job anyways, it further proves that how foolish he is by doing what he's doing now. I am so speechless now.

Today, I was figuring out if I should go to Orchard to gather more info for the assignment.Just then, Xin Ying came and complained about how uninspired she was for her writing. And after helping out with some stuff, she was complaining how bored she was. Then I told her about the Orchard thingy then she asked me why should we go Orchard. Until this happened...

XY: Why go Orchard?? There got what??
Me: Orchard got Christmas lights and good food. Maybe those will inspire you in one way or another.
XY: Hmmm.. Ok I guess, better than staying at home.
Me: So are we going Orchard?
XY: Nope.
Me: .......

So that was it.. She gave me the best feeling that I always felt, taking me to heaven then drop me to hell at an instant. And that, made me emo the whole day...

I guess that's all for now... Hope this week ends fast.

I feel much better now.. But still sinned as ever.

2010-11-02T23:23:00.005+08:00

It feels pretty good to talk about my past today. The whole class was the audience and it felt pretty damn relieving that a dark page of my life is revealed. I felt that my conscience was rather.. at ease for a moment. But still, it's hard for me to forget whatever that used to happen and I damn sure know deep down inside of me that things would never ever change.

A lot of past memories came alive today. And they just keep reminding me about a certain someone who doesn't take relationships seriously and didn't have the guts to say things in my face. To me, it's almost a freaking waste to say 'so near yet so far' in your case. But case in point, probably I would never see you again.

Well, it's time for my sleep now. I shall atone for my sins then. Let me sleep...

Bloody pissed...

2010-10-27T23:54:00.003+08:00

For god damn sake, I am so freaking sick and tired of some moron telling me to talk. Seriously, here's my pointers:

1) When I talk, I get 'B'. When I don't, I still get 'B'. So what on earth are you trying to prove?

2) It's not that I don't talk, just that when I talk YOU ARE NOT FUCKING LISTENING!

And seriously, if acting doesn't mean participating, then next time I would probably just try talking trash and then let's see what you give me. Also, I don't even bother talking to people I do not trust or even bother to trust. Because there's only 2 people I trust, one of them is me and the other ain't you.

My Only Haven..

2010-10-23T00:19:00.007+08:00

So many things have happened lately that I'm too tired or lazy to write it down. But I guess this place is the only place to unwind..

Sometimes I really wonder what or how others look at me. Although there may be a fact that I don't care, but eventually it does bother me and drag me down. Sometimes when I show concern to others, they take me for a fool. And times when I don't, they think I'm heartless. People tell me I should just be myself, but hardly anyone appreciates the things I do. Well, I guess it's just another lesson of 'You Can't Please Everybody'.

Since so much have happened, maybe I should write something that happened next. I'll go try to get some motivation now. ZZzzzZZZz

Some things have to change...

2010-08-19T22:20:00.003+08:00

Finally found a decent layout... I love the 3 lines there... Really fits into what I'm thinking and how I'm feeling right now.

Been sleeping for 12 hours nowadays.. Funny feeling, I feel so lost all of a sudden. I really wish that I can break down.. Instead of feeling so weird, I really wish I can cry..

Never mind.. I think I'll just go sleep..

My Faci, Violet.

2010-08-12T23:48:00.004+08:00

It was the last day for cognitive.. It was a rather memorable one for me as I like to specially dedicate this post to my faci, Violet.

To me, she's a very very cute and beautiful lady. She's a very special in a way that she is very patient to the class and always tries to make the lesson very interesting. She has this charisma that made me pay extra attention to her class and make me work really hard for each of her lessons. I always feel that she's an angel as she always managed to motivate me with her words and keep my spirits high. The most important point of all, she is one of the few people in my life that actually listens. She actually did not mind listening to all my problems and always enlightens me and that really helps me a lot. She's the few people I know in my life so far that gave me hope and courage to face reality and I really have no idea how to express my graditude to her.

And so before she left, I wrote her a note to thank her for always listening and motivating me. We also took a picture together~ And for everything you done for me, I promise that I would never ever forget you. Thank you so much for everything and I really hope to see you again~ ^_^

And here, I would like to dedicate this song to you~

It's been years... Same old us. :)

2010-08-12T22:52:00.006+08:00

It's been so long since the guys and I met... I can remember clearly the good old days when we were in secondary school.. It was so much fun.

Anyways, I took the guys to Daikokuya for ramen~ Pork Broth FTW!~!~! XD And as usual, the ramen was so damn gooooooood!!! ^_^

Then we went to PS while Yubin went to watch a movie with his cousin and abandoning us... Teck Wee, Swee Sien and I went to TCC for dessert. That Chocolate Parfait was great and I forgot to take a photo for it!~!~! >.<

And for dinner, Yubin recommended the curry at Orchard ION basement, so we headed there and it looked kinda good. This was what happened then..

TW:"Oi CK, we order the curry grand slam then we share?"

Me: Yea sure. Looks promising.

*TW walks off to order and returned 30 seconds later..

TW: Ar bo we order the curry champion then 5 of us share??

Me: '*Stunned' What on earth does it look like?

TW: *points at the menu..

Me: Holy!~! Ok we shall do that. XD

And the curry turned out to be like this...

It was super scary... It's like... damn big. Pork and Chicken katsu surrounded with boiled eggs with 2 ebis and 4 sausages filled with curry. BUT IT WAS SUPER EPIC!! And we managed to finish off the curry to the last bit~ It ended up like this!~!~

After that, we went for K-Box. It was super fun and we kept singing songs till 1 plus. And yes.. the most memorable moment of them all.. Yubin singing Celine Dion's 'My Heart Will Go On'

Wow and this section is getting really long. But it was really fuuuun~~ Hope to see you guys again~ ^O^

It's been some time now..

2010-08-03T22:54:00.006+08:00

So much has happened in these few weeks... We've got arguments.. low tides.. fucked up people.. shitty movies and people who ignore their own existence... I really feel like writing it out but not motivated enough to write them out. I think these stories stays with me just this time.. for the moment.

BUT FOR NOW!!! 1 MORE STINKING WEEK TO FREEDOM!!! WOOO HOOO!! TIME TO LEAVE ALL THE SHIT BEHIND!!! AND I'M GONNA MEET MY OLD FRIENDS IN THE WEEKEND!!! WOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!! TIME TO PLAN IT OUT!!! WOOOOOOOOO!! IT'S TIME FOR THE REVOLUTION!!!

AM I INSANE?!?!?!?!?

Right things in the right time.

2010-07-06T22:47:00.003+08:00

I like yesterday's cognitive UT last question. It gave me like new lease of hope all of the sudden. I remembered the question was like "Guy asked Girl to be his girlfriend, but Girl rejects saying 'I don't like well built men becos they spend too much time training in the gym. Therefore they don't have time to accompany me.' " I was like smiling throughout the question while answering
it. I really hope to see it happen in real life. And my cognitive faci added some motivational words for me which made my day. Thanks Violet~~ ^O^

In class, I heard from a classmate that she has a delusional "friend", which shocked me alot cos it never crossed my mind the fact that crazy people still exist in this era and there's actually people more delusional than me. I am truly impressed. But people like these are not hard to handle.. Cos there's crazier people out there!~!~! >.<

Finally to end it off, I will end it with this really cute song in a funny MV. It's really catchy and I
would sing it for a very long time and it came at a damn right timing~~ ^O^

Maroon 5 - Misery

Happiness in Misery

2010-07-06T22:36:00.003+08:00

The week was awesome!! Had ramen session with the guys at Orchard Paragon. Felt

damn good!~!~! Nothing beats a damn good ramen after a hectic and depressingweek!~!~! Also

to thank the guys for listen to another of my bitching session. I'm just so damn lucky to have

them to be there with me~ They are just so damn awesome~^_^ Also had fantastic milk

pudding dessert!!! AWESOME!!! ^O^

Sunday was fantastic too~ Went to Sentosa with my dear cute sis and friends. Had a crazy time

in the beach. Pulling her into the water and lost my specs in the process. BUT THE MOST EPIC

THING WAS I FOUND IT LIKE 10 MINS LATER!!! I'M SO DAMN LUCKY~!~! ^O^

Really had a damn good time there, seeing 'wonderful sights' and just lying on the sands. Really

helps putting all my troubles away~ Maybe I should do it more often. ^_^

Funny Monday.. Lovestruck?? Heartbreak??

2010-06-28T23:30:00.004+08:00

Hmm... It feels just so funny. Today is supposed to be the day that I hate every week. But

somehow, I feel kinda happy. It's like... I feel so damn powerful. Hmm.. Maybe because 'she'

came chatting with me. And I hope it's not my own wishful thinking. But a lot of happy/funny

things happened, but I promised not to blurt it out. So I'll keep it to myself in the mean time.

Anyways, many fond/unfond memories came flooding to me when I heard this song. I like
the lyrics, pretty much relates to what I'm thinking. Enjoy.

Week In Review.

2010-06-28T23:16:00.004+08:00

The weekends are decent as usual. Watched 'Knight And Day' with the guys and it was.... rather

disappointing. But the main point is the MH session after that. We had Jawbreakers and played

MH!~!~! It was so crazy! We tried to like speak but the damn Jawbreakers are too damn big!!

HAHAHAHAHA!!! But it was still good fun! HAHAHAHA!

Toy Story 3~~

2010-06-20T23:41:00.013+08:00

Today was great. Went to catch Toy Story 3 in JP with the guys today. It was a great movie and

it I happened to learn something from it. That there are times that people WILL and HAVE TO

move on, no matter how much you reject and not believe it. And I love the 3 eyed aliens. So

damn hilarious even though they only have 1 line only!! Spanish Buzz Lightyear was awesome also~~ XD

I also noticed that GV has damn good 3D glasses. Next time I think I will visit GV for all my 3D

movies. HAHAHAHA!! But something sort of like pissed me off... SAFRA card doesn't discount

on 3D movies and no longer discount in Carl's Jr... Then seriously, what the hell is the safra card

for now?!?!?!

However, the funniest thing of the day is my dear cute sis almost followed me to the male

toilet!!! HAHAHAHAHA ^O^

And I also bought TheBee's brace~~~ Nice accessory for me~~ ^O^ Looks pretty ok to me~

Finally, the guys and I went to have bubble tea. And I think cos of me, we were actually engaged

in a constructive arguement. I started off with 'There's something about women that I hate, the

ability to treat men like crap and get away with it." And the rest of the guys were like.. "Hai..

Like or don't like, they also complain..." and Katherine was like slapping me~ hahahaha. And I

was laughing like crazy when Shen Jie and Kenny did the 'Rejection from girl' skit. Totally like a

Ah Lian reject a guy who confessed la!!! HAHAHAHAHAHA ^O^

Thanks a million for the fantastic weekend guys~~

Thanks~

2010-06-15T23:05:00.002+08:00

Its time like this... That I needed words like those. Thanks alot. It's been a while since I had a feeling like this. I just wanna tell you.. I feel the same as well~~ :)

Dreadful Monday... Dead than usual...

2010-06-14T19:32:00.003+08:00

Well well well... My nightmare has indeed came true. Mondays is maths day now... Fantastic way to start the week. My mind was like totally blanked out thru out the entire class. So freaking tired... Freaking hate it.. GRRR!!

Anyways... Bad start for the week.. Although JJ's birthday was sort of "fun"... It was somewhat torturing for me... -_____- And I watched A-Team again~~!~! It was a good show anyway. I'm so in love with Jessica Biel~~ ^o^

After all that, I was thinking about how to change myself. And I realised it's so damn hard when you're alone when you need people around you the most. And in the time like this, I find it really hard to change. Even when I needed someone, 'the one' that I needed the most ain't there. Just like old times...

Maybe it will take a long time... maybe it won't happen. But I'll figure out what's the purpose for this. In the mean time... I will just concentrate on surviving.

This is the last time.... T_T

2010-05-18T23:07:00.010+08:00

haiiiii....... even Communication also change group.... Sad.. So sad.... I can only think of this line.. And why can't i put it here.... why do I have to put on labels??? argh... whatever la...

I gotta get used to this... -______-

Mondays still suck...

2010-05-17T22:19:00.004+08:00

Wow... Just another damn monday... Had a change of group in today's cognitive lesson.

And guess what? I had to group with someone I don't like. In the end, FANTASTIC!! That someone did something in the presentation that it is unknown to everyone even after explanation.

Also, that someone also mentioned something about "Not liking quiet people". Then all I will say is 'I hate indecisive people and people who don't know what shit they are doing." Hope that monday is the only time i group with that person...

Oh well... Let's see what will happen tomorrow... -_______________-

I'm back... Again~

2010-05-16T23:01:00.003+08:00

After much consideration, I decided to visit here again. Seeing that how stressed I am, I decided to put some of my thoughts here. Hoping that I can feel better. So.... LET'S RIDE!!!

It's Been A While... Again

2009-07-28T00:40:00.004+08:00

Well... It's really been too long, last post was my birthday... Haha.. seems like i'm away for quite some time and a lot has happen. Things that happened are actually stuff that i don;t really wanna remember. But I pretty much decided to post something again. Don't really care if anyone reads.. Just wanted to put this somewhere.

Anyways, just some build up.. I think I'll write something about a thing or two that happened recently tomorrow. HAHA~!

Ethan_IcEMaN.

"Running Away Might Help For The Moment, But Never The Solution Forever."

Good Ol' IcEMaN Turns 21~

2009-03-17T00:25:00.010+08:00

Today..Well Actually 60 Mins Ago, I Became A Man. For Once In My Life.. I Actually

Felt Something Was Changing About Me. I Was Able To Be Normal For That One

Day Of My Life. Do All People Feel That Way When They Turn 21? Or Is It Just Me?

Somehow Today I Just Felt Glad. People Around Me Showed Me That They Are Actually There For Me. It Was Very Sweet Of The Guys To Actually Drop A Simple Message Of Any Form To Me. Every Sms/Note Melts My Heart. To All That Gave Me Warmth During This Day, From The Bottom Of My Heart, I Thank You All. You Know Who You All Are. ^_^

But Nevertheless.. My Life Never Escapes Bitterness. Even During The Happiest Moments Of My Life, I Somehow Someway, Feel The Heartache And The Sadness. Not Much Of It, But I Always Longed For 'The One' To Be With Me At The Most Important Day Of My Life. But Sadly, It Never Happened..

Although I Got Your Sms.. It Did Make Me Feel A Little Bit Better.. But.. That's That. Just A Little Bit. However, I Am So Happy To Receive It Anyway For The Fact That The Sms Came At Midnight. I Really Wanted To Tell You How Much Your Words Mean To Me.. But I Don't Think The Words I Have Would Change Anything Now.

Although My Buddies And I Didn't Really Do Anything Fancy Today, But I Am Really Very Happy That They Were There For Me. For This IcEMaN. Thank You All For The Support You All Gave Me. I Will Remember This Day Forever And Bring It Till My Time Is Up. For Someone Who Does Not Really Bother About His Birthday, It Was You Guys Who Changed My Thoughts And Made Me Cherish For All I Have. Once Again, From The Bottom Of My Heart, THANK YOU ALL!~! q^_^ p

Side Note: The Firehouse I Ate Today Was Bitter.. No It Wasn't Swensen's Fault. It Was Me. The Ice Cream Consist Of 3 Flavours : Vanila, Chocolate And Strawberry. As I Was Eating It, I Felt A Rush Of Loneliness. It Reminded Me Of The 3 Girls I Fell In Love With So Far.

Chocolate Reminded Me Of The First Girl I Love, Nothing But Bitter And Hard.. For It Started A Hard And Rocky Path. But In The End, Nothing Has Changed. Someone I've Already Forgotten And Probably She Had Done The Same.

Vanila Reminded Me Of The Second. Pure And Silky Love.. But Easily Tainted By The Things Surrounds It.. One Wrong Move, And It Would Destroy The Entire Story And It Would Never Be As The Same As Before.

Finally Strawberry Reminded Me Of The Third. Sweet On First Bite, But Sour Soon To Follow. This Is Special.. Because This Girl Is Unpredictable. I Would Never Know Or Able To Anticipate Whether She Would Make Me Happy Or Give Me A Heartache. I Would Never Be Able To Tell When She's Sweet Or Sour. And It Was This Flavour Gave Me The Most Emotion. Something I Never Felt For A Very Long Time.

On The Final Note.. I Would Like To Thank All My Buddies And Sisters For The Warm Wishes For Me. It Really Gave Me A Big Lift. Thank You Once Again. And Last But Not Least, My Parents For Giving Me The Chance To Be In This World. To Feel What It's Like, To Be Loved.

Ethan_IcEMaN

"Love Makes Everything Perfect. If You Know That Someone Is There For You, There's Nothing In This World That You'll Need To Be Afraid Of."

V.Days....

2009-02-15T00:43:00.002+08:00

I think the dude upstairs/downstairs is showing me some signs of that I'm alone or something.. Its like whatever I saw today comes in pairs. Couples walking in the street, fishes in the fish tanks, lovebirds, and hell even the cat down at my block was cuddling and sleeping with another cat.

I felt quite touched when I saw this sight. Makes me want to fall in love again. But sadly, I don't know if I have the courage to love someone. Although there is a girl that I like, but I always conceal my feelings for her. And I was actually thinking that if I fall in love with her, I would go against my conscience... But to think again, if I really loved her, I would go against anything so as long that I will be with her.

But being that the way I feel, its so hard for me to even see her. I don't even know if she has a guy out there... or if she would even consider me as someone to fall in love with. But I believe one day, I would confess to her. And no matter if I fail or succeed, I would live to love another day.

Ethan_IcEMaN

"Love Would Be The Most Painful Thing In Life, If Only One Loves Another And The Another Does Not Feel It."

What the hell....

2009-02-13T23:24:00.001+08:00

There's always seems to be this little problem of people who at first dumps me, then asks someone close to me on how am I and blah blah blah! I mean what the hell! If you want to know how i'm doing, how am I, whether am I dead or alive, all you have to do is just call and ask. Why freaking bother ask anyone around me about me when I am surely the one who knows best about me. And its fucking make me feel like I'm unapproachable.

I freaking hate it the most especially if it is someone I already got over, and still trying to act 'oh-so-hard' to show some concern or whatsoever. Let me put it this way, if anyone wants to know how I'm doing, just call or drop a sms or something. Its not like I always change my phone number. And don't i deserve a pathetic call or a message? If you do not want to even hear my voice or anything, then please save your pathetic sympathies for yourselves. Because I don't want it and I don't need it. As far as you're concern, I live a better life after I get over anyone, especially those who have toyed with my feelings for them and i no longer yearn for their love.

Let me make it straight, you dumped me cos you find that you don't love me, or probably you found a better guy than me. My thought is simple, any other guys out there are better than me. But I will tell you this, back then when I fell for you, I am the only one who loved you. I'm even willing to do anything for you. But since we are through, I suggest that you get out of my life cos I can only be forgiving to a certain level.

Ethan_IcEMaN

"Love Is Blind... It Is Only Up To The Lovers To Decide To Be Blinded, Or Open Their Eyes To Face Reality."

Hey~~~ My Own Computer~

2009-02-08T02:40:00.001+08:00

Muhahaha!~!~! Finally Got A Com For Myself!~!~! More Gaming And Emo Updates!~!~! I've Been Waiting Long Enough For This!!

GOD DAMN IT!

2008-12-14T21:16:00.002+08:00

You Know What... The Most Frustrating About Life Is That When You Already Long To Meet 'The One' In Your Life, Something Or Someone Has To Come In And Destroy Everything That You Planned.

Just Exactly What Does The Guy Upstairs Want With Me? I Purely Suggest If HE Wants To Take My Life. I WILL Gladly Welcome It. As Far As I'm Concerned, Death Has Flashed Past Me For 3 Times In A Month.

Now... I Am Not Trying To Blame Anything Or Anyone. BUT, I Feel Really Pissed Right Now And I Am Not Really In The Mood For Anything.

It's Been A While..

2008-12-11T17:35:00.004+08:00

Well.. Its Been Like Almost 4 Years Since I Did A Blog. I Guess I Still Survived Much Of My Ordeal In The Recent Years. Now Let's Just See How Far Will I Go. Welcome Back Ethan 'IcEMan'. I Think I Will Start Slow For My Recent Stories I Guess.

I Deleted All Of The Old "Stories"... Because Jasmine Is No Longer Here With Me. She Pretty Much Felt That I'm A Speck Of Dirt In Her Life. And So I Found My Fucking Way Out Of Her Life. Oh Well... The Show Must Go On!

IcEMaN
Ethan

Intro

2005-02-22T21:02:00.001+08:00

I'm a guy who hardly speaks at all. To make it simpler, I am a person who likes to prove myself by action instead of talking. Think this is my strength & weakness. I don't know what people around me thinks of me, but I believe that whatever they think about me, it won't affect me much. Anyways, if you want to know more, I'm afraid not even the bestest of my best friends knows me well... Well.. That's me for now.